By: Leslie Barrows
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Divorcing With Children 108: Keep Kids Out of Divorce
Non-Litigation Tools for Parenting Time and Parenting Issues to Keep Kids Out of Divorce
There are many options for dispute resolution involving parenting time and parenting issues. Mediation, counseling, and communication are pathways to compromise and they help keep kids out of divorce. Parents want the best for their children and most parents feel that the best thing for their kids is to spend their time with them. The problem is the other parent probably makes the same argument. Parents argue over who gets the children and who can make which decisions about them. Most parents agree to try to keep kids out of divorce but they cannot come to an agreement and end up letting the process lead to the outcome.
There are better ways to resolve conflicts than exposing children to custody litigation. Often one parent wants to focus on alternative dispute resolution methods while the other just wants the lawyers to handle everything on paper and in court.
What people divorcing with children should know is that many mental health and family law attorneys and professionals agree that keeping kids out of divorce is better in the long run. High-conflict litigation can lead to all kinds of emotional reactions as well as short-to-long-term behavior and developmental concerns.
Leslie Barrows is a divorce lawyer Southlake, Texas families trust with their best interests, especially when divorcing with children. Attorney Barrows and her talented family attorneys and paralegals are there to help make the process as painless as possible. Call the Barrows Firm, Attorneys & Mediators (817) 481-1583.
Mediation, Family Counseling, and Parenting Communication
Read Leslie’s blog article: 5 Reasons to Give Mediation a Chance
Alternatives dispute resolution methods keep kids out of divorce litigation and all the problems that can come along with exposing them to parenting and custody battles. Initially, your ex might not prefer the idea of doing mediation, counseling and communication-focused negotiation. But, when the attorneys talk to their clients, they often highlight the advantages of going to mediation, especially where it saves people time and resources for more important issues.
Psychology Today: Proving the Benefits of Mediation
Mediation to Keep Kids Out of Divorce
Mediation is a non-adversarial process designed to be non-confrontational. Both parties and their lawyers attend mediation. A third-party mediator experienced in Texas divorce, custody, and other family law issues will lead the parties through a process of talking about concerns without worrying about their statements being used as evidence in court.
Ideally, meditation helps people get down to the bottom line so parents can work out their conflict and come to an agreement on key elements of parenting and time with the kids. Mediation allows parents to sort things out and identify which, if any, issues need to be determined in court. This saves everyone time and money.
Family Counseling for Kids and Parents
A great family counselor can help the whole family. People who are not used to seeing a family counselor are likely to appreciate the value of working with a mental health professional. Counselors are good at helping us talk about our thoughts, concerns, and feelings in a safe and neutral environment. A family counselor can help parents and children get closer to understanding exactly what is bothering them and how to better understand their feelings about the divorce.
Kids need to know they are safe and that both their parents love them. When people divorcing with children have the opportunity to attend family counseling, they can get to a better place in their minds, which leads to better communication, and more effective mediation. When parents know their kids are going to be okay and they do feel safe and loved, then parents might be more successful in mediating conflict to stay out of court and keep kids out of divorce.
Parenting Communication for Better Compromise
Communication issues are roadblocks to negotiation and compromise. Whether preparing for mediation or family counseling, learning to say exactly what you mean can be as important as meaning exactly what you say.
Electronic communication can be dangerous to effective communication. Especially if you are exchanging text messages and emails, it is easy to assume a tone that the other does not intend. When one party thinks the other is being short about exchanging pick up and drop off information, the other may be trying to give the other space.
If the goal is to resolve as many divorcing with children issues as possible, being a patient and effective communicator is a must. Simply learning not to misconstrue things can help people along well. There are all kinds of resources available to be a better communicator, and many are found online.
Article recommendation: Tips on Communication With Your Spouse During a Divorce, from Marriage.com.
When Litigation Cannot Be Avoided, Keep Kids Out of Divorce at Home
Read Leslie’s blog article: Settling a Challenging Divorce Case
Fitness as a parent, child abuse, and domestic violence issues may best be determined by a judge or jury. Based on the nature of other troublesome issues and extreme animosity, traditional litigation can be necessary as alternative dispute resolution practices are not going to be an option.
Divorcing with children and using traditional litigation does not need to be something to fear. In fact, the anticipation of things can often be much worse than the actual event, such as a custody hearing. At the Barrows Firm we know these are challenging times and we do everything to lessen the impact.
Even when we must proceed in high-stakes child custody litigation we know that moms and dads want to keep their kids out of their divorce. At every turn in a divorce case, we know what stress and anxiety parents and children are facing, so we focus on strategies that minimize open conflict and life disruption whenever possible.
Consult the Barrows Firm in Southlake when Divorcing With Children (817) 481-1583
Attorney Leslie Barrows and her team of family law attorneys, paralegals, and staff at the Barrows Firm understand how important it is to have the best possible experience when divorcing with children. They know you want to keep kids out of divorce litigation and preserve the status quo whenever possible, so everyone comes out of the divorce with their feet forward.