By: Leslie Barrows
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Domestic Violence & Self-Defense
Domestic Violence & Self-Defense
Domestic violence and self-defense are topics more openly discussed in the present day after too many years of family violence being swept under the rug. It is a good thing that more domestic violence victims have support systems and accessible court procedure to help obtain protective orders. That said, protective orders and support will not stop a violent aggressor who does not care about following rules and laws.
Just last week in an episode of Fox Television’s drama, “911,” the former spouse of a domestic violence victim sought out to do harm and stab to death a person who helped his ex-wife get away from him in a family violence scenario. If someone really wants to do harm, they can. Being prepared to defend yourself from an attack is your best defense.
Escaping Domestic Violence
To escape domestic violence is to escape the abuse and control of another. A common component in abusers is their obsession with control. In many cases we see abusers move them and their spouse away from family, friends and support systems that the abuser cannot control. What the abuser can control is their spouse’s access to other people, places and the money necessary to live from day to day.
While some domestic violence victims go into hiding, some escape in plain sight and their abuser knows right where they are. There is no right or wrong way to escape domestic violence and like every marriage is unique, so is the fallout in every domestic violence situation. Some say attempting to hide and conceal one’s new location and access thereto can make an already angry controlling person outraged, and in that sense, hiding in plain sight might help de-escalate some situations. Note that if your abuser knows how and when to find you, being prepared to defend yourself is wise.
Women’s Self-Defense Classes
In women’s self-defense classes, instructors commonly mention that one does not need to carry a weapon to defend themselves if they are trained in proper self-defense. Knowing how to fight back if attacked, and the positive emotional benefit of same can contribute to whether a victim survives an attack if their aggressor comes for them.
Remember that at the end of the day a protective order is nothing more than a piece of paper. If you are a domestic violence victim with a protective order you should call 911 if your aggressor comes for you in violation of the order. Remember, however, first responders may be several minutes away from saving you. Are you prepared to save yourself?
For more thoughts about domestic violence and self-defense, call Leslie Barrows.
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