By: Leslie Barrows
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Barrows Firm Holiday Survival Tips
Divorcing Over Christmas and New Years: Barrows Firm Survival Tips
Divorce and holidays are challenging. You do not have to be a wreck or hide out until after New Years’ Day. Southlake Attorney Leslie Barrows has a few holiday survival tips to help create more laughter and good memories with your children and to boost your co-parenting skills. While you cannot change the fact that you got a divorce or had a child custody case, you can change your attitude about the situation if things did not go well.
When you focus on appreciating you have children because you were with your ex, you can learn to have a better attitude of gratitude. When you make an effort to laugh and sing, you boost your spirits and those around you. Keeping your positive attitude and patience, you can lead by setting good examples. As you and your kids create new traditions, focus on the present and the future. And when buying and giving gifts to your children, remember that it is not a competition for their love and respect, so take the opportunity to always remind them what Christmas is all about.
If you work at it, you can make this and every next Christmas season magical. Of course, if there are problems beyond your control and custody emergencies arise, you can always call Southlake Divorce Attorney Leslie Barrows if you need some muscle or to get into court.
Check out our blog article with more information, Divorcing with Children 107: Preparing for the Holidays
Appreciating Your Ex Because You Have Children Together
Especially if this is your first, second, or maybe third holiday season after divorce, you may still be angry and upset with your ex. Allowing yourself to feel, helps you heal. So when a song, favorite movie, or a Christmas card from someone triggers your mixture of good and bad thoughts and memories, take a moment to focus on how much you love your children.
When you start feeling upset or someone brings it up, learn to say that you appreciate your ex because without them you wouldn’t have your kids. Also, learn to say that you believe your ex wants to be a good parent and they are also important to your children.
Barrows Firm Holiday Survival Tip: Never talk badly about your ex because your kids are half you, and half them. The worst thing a child could hear is that you hate the half of them that comes from their other parent. Just don’t do it.
Laughing and Singing for Elevating Your Spirits
You know what traditional holiday movies and songs make you laugh, and which ones make you cry. If you want to have the best holiday season, focus on laughter and song. Watch some comedy holiday movies with the kids. Sing songs and turn up your favorite rocking around the Christmas tree tunes.
Laughing and singing is good for you and your children. Keeping spirits bright means doing things that make you laugh and sing. This article is great and it offers some creative ways to make things goofy and fun, such as the Ugly Christmas Sweater Day: 5 Hillarious Ways to Laugh Off Holiday Stress
Co-Parenting One Day at a Time: Attorney Barrows Recommends a Positive Attitude
True or False: If your ex screws up the holiday possession schedule, you should make them regret the day they screwed up your holiday season? FALSE
While you may remember the dream sequences in the popular 80s movie 9 to 5 (about all those things people dream about doing to their boss), it is best to keep those thoughts in your head and use the opportunity negotiate something that works much better for you, like a few extra days in January so you can take the kids on a surprise weekend getaway.
A key Barrows Firm holiday survival tip is to be reasonable and not build a case against your ex if something goes wrong. However, if there is a serious matter and you really need to go to court for a custody order enforcement action, call Leslie Barrows.
Creating New Holiday Traditions and Doing Something New
Whenever a family goes through a substantial change such as a divorce, most divorce lawyers and child custody mental health professionals recommend creating new holiday traditions. Southlake divorce attorney Leslie Barrows offers a pro tip: “Instead of focusing on what day you do things, focus on what new traditions you are creating with your kiddos.” So instead of always decorating the Christmas tree on a specific day, focus on the process. For example, start making a tradition of sharing stories about favorite ornaments or making a trip together to hunt for some great new ornaments.
As both you and your ex separately create new traditions with the children, they will start to look forward to those from year to year. After not long at all, the new traditions and happy memories become something to cherish.
Barrows Firm Holiday Survival Tip: Maybe a new tradition is a holiday vacation! So long as it works with your possession schedule and you plan ahead, consider a few popular holiday vacation destinations! 7 Best Christmas Getaways in Texas
Avoiding the Gifting Competition and Focusing on the Meaning of Christmas
When Christmas comes during or recently after divorce, some parents tend to overcompensate by giving more gifts than usual, and gifts that may seem excessive. Sometimes the non-primary parent sees an opportunity to show their children how much they love them by overdoing it on Christmas gifts. Let us not assume that this is intentional, rather a knee-jerk reaction to emotions and adjustment.
The important message about Christmas should be that both parents and sides of the family love the children and cherish their time with them during the holidays. By overcompensating with excessive fights, your kids might suspect that you are trying to make up for a shortfall. So try to remember how much you love your children and show them by spending quality time with them instead of showering them with excessive presents.